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Archive - Spirit of the Word - Covenant Eschatology - Introductory Note - New Stuff
"The Gobbledygook Gospel"Here is the message that I was taught to be "the gospel" during my evangelical upbringing--Bible college included:
*God is Love...but more than that...He is Holy. Holiness is the opposite quality to Love, therefore God is also eternally vindictive and unforgiving. So one day you will be conformed to His likeness, and you shall be holy just as He is, and not very loving. BUT..you must be loving NOW, even if that means you are being less than holy, or you won't make it to heaven. On the other hand, without holiness NO ONE shall see the Lord! (Yes, it's a...er...paradox, but just accept it in childlike faith, and stop intellectualizing so much!)
*God passionately and deeply loves everyone, but He plans to burn almost everyone alive for eternity simply because they failed to seek Him and find Him and love Him before it was forever too late. That is because the way is narrow and only a few "ever will" find it.
*The Lord is kind, gracious and merciful. Nevertheless, the reason He created human beings was because He is not only omniscient, He is a Great Gambler that delights in chancing the lives of His human offspring in His grand cosmic game of "Winners and Losers". Therefore His purpose for calling people into being was to give them a chance to choose to learn to pronounce His name ("Lord Jesus Christ") correctly--and--love and trust Him UNconditionally and wholeheartedly before He burns billions of them for eternity for having failed to do so by a given deadline.
*We cannot save ourselves, since the original sin of Adam and Eve renders us utterly depraved and powerless. On the other hand, God has given us a free will so we can choose to rise above our depraved and sinful state and submit to him in obedient faith before it is forever too late.
*Worry is a form of fear, and perfect love casts out fear, and those who fear have not been perfected in love. He that loveth not knoweth not God, for God is love. So watch your step, buddy! JESUS said, "You shall be perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect." And John says that he/she that sinneth is of the devil, and Revelation says that nothing unclean shall enter that city. (With streets of gold etc.) On the other hand, don't be nervous and worried. The fearful and unbelieving will have their part in the lake of fire for all eternity.
*Jesus loves all the children of the world, but after they reach the age of accountability (which may be anywhere from age 7 to 13) they too will be punished "forever" for not having made wise and timely choices.
*Justice is the opposite quality to Love and God is not only love, He is also just. (Therefore when He acts justly He behaves unlovingly, and when He behaves lovingly He behaves unjustly. That is why he MUST punish people for all eternity.)
*God is far better than any earthly father. He is far more loving and wise and compassionate than any mortal dad could ever be. And He is also more JUST than earthly fathers. He punishes HIS offspring--for eternity--whereas earthy fathers do not, because they fall short of being as just as God is.
*Jesus prayed on the cross for His torturers "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." But the Father knew His Son was wrong about that! After all, He remembered that they were "without excuse" (according to Romans 1). Therefore He ignored Jesus' prayer uttered in ignorance and motivated by a false sense of mercy. ONLY people who ASK for forgiveness in a wise and timely fashion (as we have done) will receive it!!
*Jesus loves you SOOOO much, but you'd better walk softly before the FATHER!!!
*God is soooooooooooooo MAD because people who are "dead in trespasses and sins" have kept on sinning rather than turn to him because He has CLEARLY revealed Himself in the rocks and trees and birds and bees and sun, moon and stars!!! So at long last, 2000 years ago, He had to send His Son to die on the cross to save the world--although it was far too late to REALLY save the world because myriad numbers of its inhabitants had already gone to hell. And all because they refused to respond to the rocks and trees etc. when they were fully capable of doing so, even though original sin had rendered them totally depraved and unable to seek God (necessitating that Christ come into the world? Aw, it's just another paradox that must be accepted in childlike faith. But that's no problem for us diligent and stouthearted--and "humble"--ones! Right?)
*Salvation is totally a gift--you cannot earn or produce it by good works. On the other hand, you will never receive your "heavenly reward" and will spend eternity in hell--unless YOU show GENUINE faith, as is validated by works of obedience. For faith without works is dead. Therefore, dying in sin, is also dying in unbelief. However, God MAY be merciful to SOME who die in sin, but DON'T count on it--especially with YOUR kind of sin!
*The Lord loves everyone unconditionally--even those whom He burns in hell for eternity for not having met certain conditions (as we did! ) before it was too late.
*Salvation means gift. Actually it means reward. On the other hand, it means gift. Yet in a real sense it also means reward. On the other hand salvation means rescue--not reward. But then again, YOU must...etc.etc..etc...or God is out of here forever and your free gift is forfeit! REAL faith is shown by obedience! (Oh well, ahem! It is a great mystery. But try not to worry about it much, just keep coming to the meetings and paying tithes faithfully and do as we say, and you'll probably be all right!)
*You shouldn't say "Good luck!" to people. That is dishonoring to God. There's no such thing as chance or luck, for GOD IS SOVEREIGN AND RULES OVER ALL AFFAIRS. On the other hand, many people will be lost for all eternity because they failed to recognize their "chance" to receive Jesus before it was forever to late. Come to Jesus while there is still a "chance!" Keep showing faith by your works of obedience, while there is a "chance"!
*People who commit suicide go to hell because they die before they have a "chance" to repent of their sin before their spirit leaves their body. So are you despairing to the point of wanting to take your own life? Don't risk it, buddy! (or sis!) If you commit suicide YOUR LOVING HEAVENLY FATHER WILL TEACH YOU WHAT ***REAL***DESPAIR IS--FOR ALL ETERNITY. (But of course, He will always love you. )
*Because people have a free will, there is the "chance" that many will fail to choose Christ before it is too late.
*So you think you have been "once saved always saved", do you? People who have been TRULY saved don't...etc...etc...etc..etc... Don't forget that backsliders are showing good evidence that they have not been truly saved, and if they DIE in that state, it doesn't look very hopeful. Remember the Scripture that says, "They went out from us that it might be manifest that they were not of us"? (And according to most church tradition that means "they NEVER WILL be of us.")
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Well, gang, This is the gospel gobbledygook I was taught over the years and the utter nonsense that I still hear many people proclaiming as "gospel" to a pain-wracked and needy world. Gospel means GOOD NEWS. Do the above gross contradictions sound like heart-ravishing good news to anyone?Uh oh! Have I left out any deep and mysterious paradoxes that would help nurture anyone's faith?
If so, feel free to add more for the edification of those silent readers who are looking for yet more "chances" to believe all the right doctrines and do all the right stuff in order to receive the "free gift" of their "Heavenly reward."
Love to all!
Joyfully--Charlie
P.S (Eph. 3:14-21) Dear silent reader, in case you may be new to the board, the above is simply a good humored exposé of the mangled message that I once confused for the authentic good news of Jesus Christ. If you're sick and tired of this kind of religious double-speak and abuse that masquerades as "love" and "good news"--wonderful! That is evidence that you're on the brink of a life-changing breakthrough...
And I pray that my own testimony will be of encouragement to you.
God will NEVER give up on you. Not ever!
Spirit of the Word - Covenant Eschatology - Introductory Note - New Stuff