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Once upon a time in the far distant reaches of eternity past, God suddenly realized that He was very lonely..."Aha! I know what I will do", God said to Himself.
"I will create a world inhabited by physical beings called humans, and give them a chance to love Me. If they do not make the wise and timely choice to love me before they die, I will always love them unconditionally anyhow as I burn them alive for all eternity."
So that is what the Lord God did, according to the glad tidings proclaimed by mainstream churchianity. Isn't that wonderful news?
The bad news is, our first parents, Adam and Eve fouled up and ate fruit from a tree from which God had forbidden them to eat. You see, He had planted that tree simply to test them to SEE if they would love Him enough to obey Him, and sadly, they failed that test. So as far as we know, our first parents are now being burned alive for eternity. And of course that includes most of their posterity except perhaps for a few of Abraham's offspring and some who followed Moses later on. But this is uncertain, for they didn't know His Son who entered the world many centuries later--who actually is the KEY to the salvation of all people.
But the point is, God wants to save YOU from being burned alive forever and ever, whatever may be happening to your departed loved ones who have never heard these glad tidings!
And here they are--The Great Experimenter entered the world via His Eternal Son several hundred years ago as a human being and died for the sins of the world's REMAINING inhabitants--and then--miraculously raised Himself from the dead. Many people have never heard of Him over the subsequent centuries, so unfortunately He has to torture them in fire for eternity--since they are WITHOUT EXCUSE--for they should have found out who He was on their own, after all.
Nevertheless, all who confess as Lord God's Son BEFORE THEY DIE will get to go to heaven in the sweet by and by--and all who do not will eternally fry.
This is simply the nature of God's holy love, like it or lump it!
Yes, I know that is the (ahem!) "downside" of these glad tidings. However, YOU have a CLEAR chance to love the Great Experimenter, dear reader. Isn't this marvelous? That is, if you don't die before you can find out what God's saving name is and pronounce it properly AND sincerely.
I won't tell you what it is though, for that would make it easier on you than on many other people (like myself for example) who have followed their conscience until they discovered it on their own. Just use your conscience and your "free will" properly (you can do it!) and God will reward you with salvation, even as He has rewarded us. (And will reward us when we die, if we don't mess up!)
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Hehe. Yeah, I realize this is a spoof of a sort. But *in a nutshell* (minus a small part of the last paragraph) this is the "good news" that many Christians are proclaiming to a thinking, hurting world. Sad, isn't it?Praying for the REAL Jesus to SHOW UP!
Charlie
Spirit of the Word - Covenant Eschatology - Introductory Note - New Stuff