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Posted by CharlieIn Reply to: If I were Satan... posted by Tony N.
: Tony's post:
: And if I were the devil I would set up Bible schools across the land and teach each generation of ministers that God is a complete failure. I would teach them that God will get His thousands and I (Satan) will get billions and billions, thus making me wiser and stronger than God.: I would teach them that Jesus's sacrifice is impotent to save...that man must do something to save themselves.
: I would teach that even though the Bible says that "God will have all mankind to be saved" that God just really wished He could do something about it but is not as strong as me (Satan) and so must acquiesce to my will and my wisdom.
: I would teach that even though the Bible says that God is the Saviour of all mankind (1Tim.4:10) that this is just God boasting in what He knows He will never be. I will teach that God, not me is the liar, that God in fact is not the Saviour of all mankind.
: I would teach that the word "aion" and "aionios" really to mean "eternal" rather than for a period having a beginning and an end. And if anyone says otherwise I have plenty of dupes that I have trained to say otherwise.
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That was so right on, bro! :-)And if I were the devil--
I would try to persuade everyone, especially Christians, that life is all about having a "chance" to "make it to heaven" and the kingdom of Love (God) is all about the survival of the (spiritually) fittest. Thus I could make agnosticism appear to be far more rational and attractive than the tiny, unbiblical, and small-hearted "jesus" I would be hyping.
I would advertise Christianity as a message of "unconditional love" and make it clear that love minus deeds and commitment is abusive nonsense. Then I would also sweetly point out that Love Himself is exempt from this criteria, for He has already "forordained" to abandon most of His human offspring to firey agony and evil forever. NEVERTHELESS--He requires that His frail, sin-impaired and finite creatures demonstrate love with deeds and commitment. ESPECIALLY TOWARD HIMSELF. Of course I'd try keep this contradiction in my teaching carefully hidden and do my best to keep the subjects of "man's responsibility" and "God's responsibility"--compartmentalized--as neatly as possible.
If I could not succeed in promoting overt legalism, then would do all I could to foster a more gentle climate of self-reliance and self-righteousness, calling it "faith" or "wise stewardship." Or perhaps, "positive thinking and confession." I would call it anything--but--666 not so easy steps to save yourself (or at least, to look good) and thus prove that Christ died in vain.
I would tell Christians that they must *shun the very appearance of evil* to be saved from endless hell. But I would also tell them that embracing a brownie point system of "handle not, taste not, touch not" will ALSO get them "eternally condemned." Thus I could foster "legalistic" evangelical churches that take their endless punishment doctrine more seriously in real life, while also spawning "grace-oriented" churches that take it "seriously"--but only when their defending it as a point of doctrine.
What I would focus on with greatest intensity would be to nurture a complacent, laid back, and "culturally relevant" (looking and sounding) church that advertizes a Love that "never fails"--yet it DEMONSTRATES by its lifestyle that its "God" has very little time for *people* who are "failures." How would I do this? I would train its leaders to "believe" that endless fiery torture awaits most of the human race--but to believe it mainly as a "point of orthodoxy." Then I would condition them to focus mostly on "faith, hope, love, and grace" in their teaching. (Except when trying to make converts or when naughty church members are stepping out of line.) I would encourage having lots of "How to Do It" seminars, thus underscoring (subliminally, of course) that *performance* is what actually determines human worth--bottom line. That way I would be able to have most Christians TALKING heaven while LIVING like hell and transmitting hate that calls itself "love." Hmmm... Think of all the business this can drum up, not only for the clergy, big brother, law enforcement--and, not least of all Hollywood--but for the pharmacuetical companies! :-)
Love ya, Tony.
Hang in there, and keep chasin' them religious devils--
Charlie