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Newer Posts - Spirit of the Word - Covenant Eschatology - Introductory Note - New Stuff Posted by Norbert Why I'm a Unie.
I think I spend too much time arguing with those whose minds will not be changed by arguing with them.
For that I apologize and will try to tone down my approach in future.
Perhaps it will accomplish more to share why I am a Unie. So many times myself, and others that believe the same as I do, are falsely accused on being Unies because "it's the easy way out" or "because you don't have to change"or "it costs you nothing". The fact is, nothing is further from the truth.
I spent many years in both Baptist and Pentecostal churches. When I was about 11 years old I had an experience in a Pentecostal church that was the start of many years of turmoil. My Pentecostal buddies told me it was from God and my Baptist buddies thought it was just emotional gibberish or worse yet, of the Devil. I spent years and years praying and studying and in much turmoil over the issue. One thing no one can accuse me of is not digging in and studying or taking issues flippantly.
I came to the conclusion after many many years in both types of churches that there simply is no simple answer to the question. God later showed me that it wasn't the important question..........just another side issue.
During the early 90's my family and I spent a few years at a Pentecostal church. I became exceedingly interested in the whole area of Biblical prophecy to the point where I could teach on it very well. I went to conventions, bought all the books and became absorbed intensely in it. I spent hours and hours every week sharing 'end of the world........turn or burn' stuff with anyone who would listen. I spent so much time reading and witnessing that I neglected my family in doing so. I was the first one to the Bible studies, led a Bible study, went to 6:00am prayer meetings.........the whole shebang!
I was in a service in one church and a man mistook me for Grant Jefferies! I took this as a sign to delve even deeper into the prophecy arena. A friend and I even brought a top notch Prophecy expert from New Zealand all the way to our little town for a prophecy convention we held. We had hundreds of people out every night and dozens of *conversions*. We even had major employers in our small town ticked off at us because we were spreading fear about bar codes etc. perhaps being a forerunner to the mark of the beast.
Then the ultimate. I felt led by God to lay hands on a man I had just met and who a friend and I were sharing with. This young guy was about 20 years old at the time. He got real excited and said like he felt something had happened to him but didn't know what for sure. He'd had cancerous lumps in his breast and they felt like they had gone. We rejoiced with him. We rejoiced with him a lot more a few days later after he had gone to his Doctor who confirmed the cancer was no longer there. You'd think that would bring peace, being used in such a powerful way. Let's face it, real healings are extremely rare if we are honest about it.
But with all this, a fantastic *conversion* experience, doing all the right things, be used by God etc. I could never get the peace that I knew I should have. After much prayer and searching, the Spirit of God finally got my attention. I went through a very intense period, one of the worst 6 weeks or so of my life. God allowed me to go through mental agony as I internalized and my heart and soul became fully immersed in what someone who would be tormented forever would go through. The hours upon hours I asked God why? Then I'd read about the incredible love that God supposedly had. At the hour of my greatest pain and so close to checking myself into a psych ward I confronted God and told him I needed an answer NOW. God took me back to the times of intense peace and love that I had felt previously. He showed me that he loved everyone as much as he loved me. He made it so absolutely clear in my heart and mind through the scriptures and his voice speaking inside me that he was not the monster that he was made out to be. He was not the two-headed out of control love/hate creature that I had been taught all of my life. The more scripture I read and studied the more God brought peace to my mind. He showed me that he is all in all, that his love knows no end.
I understood that my earlier conversion experience was not so much the moment that I accepted Christ, but rather the joyful time when I first realized it fully. Christ had chosen me, and everyone else, long long ago.
Certainly, it took a long time of relearning. When you have had a concept drilled into your head for many years it takes a long time to go back through the scriptures and realize where you have erred.Now, when I do something pleasing to God, I do it because I want to do it. It is an acceptable sacrifice. I do not do it because I am compelled to. There are times when I fall short of what my acts should be. I'm human. But I never fear that my heavenly Father is going to disown me. I have far more peace now than I ever did when I was on the SuperChristian Treadmill that wears you out.
The SuperChristianTreadmill (I'll call it that for lack of a better word) nearly cost me my family. I didn't realize it until much later but my wife was close to leaving because of my intolerable self-righteousness. You'd think I'd have caught on when half the families in the church were having marital problems primarily because of their self-righteous husbands and fathers but I hadn't a clue until much later. It cost me a complete financial collapse. Because I had wrongly believed that many people were going to be tortured forever by my loving Father unless I led them to Christ I let my business go. I had no incentive to work and being an owner of a real estate company I could decide what I did and when. I was convinced the time was short and that it was a sin to do anything other than witness as much as possible. You see, I really believed what many of you here only say you believe. The fact is, if someone is going to be tortured, burned alive, forever then it is the ultimate evil not to spend every waking moment trying to save them. Anything less would be completely immoral. My total lack of interest in working led to bankruptcy. It cost me my and my family our home.
That's the biggest bee in my bonnet.......if you really truly believe this torment and torture stuff, then get off your dang asses, sell all your assets, quit your job and spend 16 hours a day trying to save some. Don't tell me you believe that and then spend your day making money. How selfish and CRUEL!!!!
After my intense period which led to my understanding of the complete and total love of my heavenly Father I started to share this with my friends from church. Of course we were called everything from heretics to idiots. Our friends became former friends. We had our church membership revoked over a technicality that no one else ever had it revoked for. My darling sweet wife who never hurt a fly in her entire life was devasted when former friends would cross the street when they saw her coming. They stopped calling entirely. A handful of true friends remained, but even those few were under pressure to not associate with us any more. I fully understood the concept of shunning.
There are some here that feel the need to judge others. They don't see it that way.......just that they somehow think that God has given them the job of fruit inspector.
I ask those of you that do that, don't go there. Until you too have lost your home, your money, your job, gone through absolute mental torment and lost most of your friends because of taking serving God seriously then you truly should not be judging me. Let's add that as a child, my Mother, a devout Christian, was extremely mentally ill.......chemical imbalance. In spite of her very severe illness, she still trusts God. However as a small boy I would hear my Mother virtually every day sobbing and screaming and walking around the house with hollowed eyes looking fearful. She'd wake up most night screaming and her arms flailing about. Doctors said she was about the worst case they had ever seen and were amazed that she had not committed suicide. I grew up seeing that pain and it hurt me immensely. I spent my late teen and early 20's suffering and going through similar, though not as intense pain as my Mother.
My job finished where I used to live in September. My family and I moved down to the city almost 300 miles away in order to try and find work. Although I am very qualified as a web developer the jobs are almost all going to the younger guys who they can get to work for next to nothing. I'm not greedy, but my wife likes to stay at home with the children and I cannot work for peanuts.......plain and simple. I was offered a high paying job but it would have meant that I would have been travelling around the USA in a different city every few weeks. The bottom line is that I would only have been home less than 24 hours every 2 weeks. My family is too important to me for that. However it is still hard trying to keep a smile on my face as I go from place to place looking for work. 1 of my children took the move very hard and was quite depressed and almost impossible to live with for a few months. He is just now coming out of it. My wife, always trying to be strong for the family, didn't say too much but I could see the strain in her eyes. She just recently told me that the whole move, being away from the few friends we had left and the kids having a tough time has her is a pretty serious depression. Hopefully she can get through it without resorting to medication. She hadn't wanted to tell me because she didn't want to make my burden any heavier than it is at the moment. Her family live in England and its impossible to even send her home for a visit to get a break because of the money at the moment.
Yet, I know God is in control of the situation. But dang it, it's painful at times. So if perhaps I seem a bit ornery at times and occasionally rude, please forgive me. I'm doing the best I can.
So please don't accuse me of being a UNIE because it's the easy way out. It has cost me everything. Every religion wants to sell you on the idea that you gotta do something to stay in God's good books. I say, no you don't. And that is just enough for most to either dislike, despise or hate me. It was far easier when I was a big shot in the church.........
But my heart is so converted to this message of truth that there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind.........not even if I'm the last man standing.
If anyone wants to email me privately ever my email address is nealweb@telusplanet.net
God Bless